My life

My life...

It’s been
interesting

Family (and friends) are everything

I love music especially the '60s and '70s

My early life

I was born – ostensibly male - in modern-day Zimbabwe, then Rhodesia. I moved to the UK when only a few months old and, apparently, did so illegally.

At the time, the UK didn’t recognise Rhodesia as a country and so the Customs Officer wouldn’t allow me through on a Rhodesian Passport. As quick as a flash, my Ma advised I needed a nappy change and feeding. We were quickly waved through. Resourcefulness, it seems, is in my blood!

I grew up mostly just south of Manchester, excelling at school until puberty hit. A blend of my personal struggles with my “male” self and unengaging teachers meant I rebelled in all but my favourite classes: French, English, History, Latin where I continued to flourish.

It was during these years that I made my two greatest (and 30+ years later, oldest) friends and developed my passion for music, indulging initially in 50’s rock’n’roll before evolving into an obsession with the music of The Beatles, The Doors, The Rolling Stones and other bands of their ilk.

An adult male

I left home at the earliest opportunity, travelled for a short while around Europe and headed to King’s College, London to read French.

Here I made a mistake. I found the course too easy and the distractions of London life too exciting. Again, I made a few lifelong friends at University but I became quickly enmeshed in London nightlife and the lure of working in the city.

And I “faked it until I made it” – becoming one of the “boys” – partying hard and working hard, doing anything I could to avoid facing the real, female me.

Successes in life (girlfriends, friends, partying) were mirrored with successes at work, all in direct contrast with my need to be female. Despite hugely loving and supportive relationships all around me, I believed I could bury my true self.

It was during some of my excesses though that the real me would come out and I told a number of my great female friends who gave me such love, support and strength that, ultimately, I came out to a wider network including, eventually my parents.

One day, my Ma (prompted by a loved one) asked me if I had a problem with my sexuality. I answered, “if you’re asking do I fancy men, no; if you’re asking should I be a woman, yes”. (You see I’m a gay woman just to make things even easier!)

Now, I mentioned earlier that I am truly blessed with great family and friends. My parents’ subsequent reactions were just out of this world. I had always known they would be supportive but they were brilliant.

They wished that I had told them sooner so they could have been there for me. I knew they would have been - I am very, very fortunate - but telling them was a next level of honesty for which I had not been quite ready. Now they knew, there was no going back.

Having lived in London for most my adult life, the opportunity to move to Australia and start the next stage of my life arrived in 2008.

Being me

The third person I met in Australia is now my wife.

We met when I was still outwardly male but very soon

I had to confide in her and her support was – and is – just amazing.

Starting off on the Gold Coast, I moved to Sydney where

I was fortunate enough to be headhunted for a role.

Now was my opportunity to come out at work!

And what an experience that was…

I decided to meet with the business owner, Paul, to sign the contract face to face. Before he signed, I said, “Paul, before you sign, and I am happy if you choose not to sign after this, I will not hold it against you: I need to tell you I suffer from a condition called gender dysphoria and I am going to transition into becoming a woman”.

Paul hardly missed a beat, replying, “One question, how does that impact your ability to do your job?”

“I’ll be happier”, I replied, “so I’ll probably do it better”.

Without another word, he signed the contract, turned to me and said “Now, tell me all about it. What do you need from us?”.

The business – and the team – managed the whole process amazingly. Paul suggested I start work as the male me – to give the team a chance to get to know me for me, not for my gender – and then, a few months in, gave the team I worked in specific training on what it meant to be transgender before revealing that I was planning to transition. That Friday, the team gave me two cakes, upon which were written “Goodbye, Nick” and “Hello, Lucy”.

I am forever in their debt.

I started my transition in 2010 and the following year, on my 35th birthday, was re-born with gender reaffirmation surgery in Thailand under the care of the amazing Dr. Suporn.

After 4 more years in Australia, (living in Sydney and Perth), we welcomed our son to the world in 2014. One of the benefits of having being male was that I had frozen my sperm prior to transition and so, while our son has two mums, we are both his genetic parents.

A happy outcome indeed.

We moved back to the UK and, after years of living in cities, ended up in the Garden of England, living in the most amazing community.

A quick fire guide to my likes and dislikes

Friends and family
Music (especially The Beatles and The Rolling Stones)
Making things happen
Travel
Italian food and wine
Reading
Current affairs

Mushrooms
Accepting mediocrity
Two-faced people